Sunday, June 23, 2013

Good-bye, old friend

WARNING: sad post; skip this one if you aren't up for it.

Sophie, after her bath on Wed

Pancakes for breakfast, on the couch!

Our last walk, on Friday
    We had decided that we didn't want our pet to suffer too much, or too long.  It was a tough balance: do we let her continue going downhill until her life is completely miserable, or do we end it while we can still have a pleasant good-bye?  I think if we had let her go on, it would have been a matter of weeks, anyway, so this seemed to be "that time".  If she had gotten to the point of severe pain and misery, I would have never forgiven myself for letting it go on too long.  As difficult as it was, it was the right thing to do.

    We spent the week making her week the best, ever.  She had lots of treats and cuddles.  On Friday, the whole family climbed into the car with the dog, and we parked at the playground within walking distance of the vet.  I brought hot dogs for the dog.  She struggled into the car, she barely made it out of the car...I knew traveling was very challenging for her.

   The kids and husband said their good-byes and gave big hugs, and then the dog and I walked.  I talked to her all the way to the vet.  Her hearing is gone, so I doubt she could hear me, but hopefully she picked up on all my love and sentiments.  She was very calm going into the vet, as though she was at peace with the situation.  I have never seen her so calm or at peace in the vet's office in the past 2 years.  They gave her a tranquilizer, and I held her fluffy head in my hands, smiling at her reassuringly, and petting her.  I stayed with her until she was in a deep sleep.  It was very peaceful.

   The weekend was one of the hardest I've had to suffer in a long time.  We cried together, missing our pet and wishing she could come back into our lives.  We remembered all the good times.  Nighttime was rough; we couldn't hear the trit-trot sound of her feet on the floor, as she used to check on every room of the house at night, and then check on each kid sleeping in their room, before she would finally barge into my bedroom and finally settle down to sleep.  Suddenly, nighttime was too quiet.

   We will wait for awhile before we bring another pet into our family.  I need a little bit of time and distance before I'll be ready to adopt a new little personality into our family.

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